It’s amazing what you can get used to. The first time you see something strange you may be shocked and appalled. Then you see it a few more times and you just shake your head. After a few more times, you don’t even blink. It’s like you don’t even know that it’s weird anymore.

Sometimes that’s good. When my little Ladybug was born she had Syndactyly. She was so tiny and beautiful and perfect but there was this one little hand that didn’t look like the other. It looked so strange to me, like she was wearing the tiniest mitten.

She had her first surgery at four months old and they continued until she was two. I had to change her bandages and clean the wounds and once the doctor even had to talk me through removing some stitches that were not dissolving. Sounds nuts, right?

I just got used to it. It was what I needed to do as her mama, so I did it.

And after a while, that little “lucky fin” didn’t seem weird anymore. It was precious! I loved that little hand! Especially that tiny pinky! I have gotten so used to it that when a friend showed me a picture of another kid with a lucky fin, it took me a lot longer than it should have to notice it.

Sometimes, though, it’s not so good to just get used to things the way they are. Just because things have been a certain way for a long time, doesn’t mean they have to stay that way. It’s almost like you forget that they should be different, or that it’s even possible!

I’ve been in pain for a long time. Migraines, joint pain, back pain, they’ve all kind of run my life for a while now. When they first started getting bad, I just took some Advil and went about my business. But then they got so bad that the medicine wasn’t working. So, I did what any crazy person would, I just got used to it.

Maybe it’s because I’m so old and wise now (I am neither of those!) but I don’t want to just get used to things like that anymore! I don’t remember the last time I was pain-free but I do know that this weekend I was as close to pain-free as I have been in a long time. It’s because I finally remembered that it’s weird to always have an ache somewhere and I did something about it. (Hopefully, I can keep the aches under control because I had a very productive weekend of Feng Shui-ing my bedroom!)

Similar things are going on with my Ladybug – physical aches and pains. Also, some emotional growing pains and trying to find her place in the world. It’s tough.

But I’m making sure that she does things differently. We talk about things that I never would have dreamed of talking about with my mother! We are asking questions, even the dumb ones, just to see what answers are in the world and which answers might work for her.

We are also talking to doctors NOW about why she’s in so much pain. They’ve run blood tests and done a bunch of xrays. She has an MRI scheduled for next week. Maybe when she’s my age she will know that you don’t have to hurt all the time. Maybe she will keep looking for answers instead of just getting used to it.

Of course, sometimes doctors don’t have all the answers. Like the doctor who informed us today that one of her hands is smaller than the other. He said it was congenital and asked if we had any concerns.

Uhhhhhhhh…no. We’ve been aware of the Lucky Fin for about 22 years now, but thanks.

So, maybe that particular doctor didn’t have answers but he did provide me with a car ride full of eye rolling and semi hysterical laughter with my sweet and brave daughter.

I could get used to that.