Well, it has happened. It is happening as we speak.

The Boy has discovered girls.

I have always considered myself fortunate that The Boy discusses everything with me. And I do mean everything. Ever since he was tiny, he has considered me one of his best friends. Amazingly, that has not gotten in the way of all the parenting stuff like rules, and chores, and punishment. I have heard people say that if your kid doesn’t hate you then you’re parenting wrong. I don’t agree.

I think it really depends on the child. Ladybug hated me for about three years straight. The Boy has only hated me once or twice, briefly. Once when I acted like his cat (Lloyd) was in a box and I shook the box to make him disappear. Lloyd had actually slipped out of the box and under the bed when nobody was looking. I thought it would be funny but boy, was I wrong. I kinda hated myself after that little prank.

There was also the time that my whole family was going tubing, but The Boy was scared to get in the tube. He stood on the dock with tears in his big brown eyes and ran through his entire list of possible calamities while my family floated away. I told him it was okay to be afraid, but he would be missing out on a really great day if he stayed behind. Sometimes we just have to do it scared. I took his tiny hands in mine and said, “Do you trust me?” He smiled through his tears and said, “Yes, mama.”

And then before he knew what was happening, I yanked him into my tube, and we floated away. Hatred flashed in his eyes for a moment, but we ended up having a fantastic time!

When we returned home, we saw a news report of how they had to remove a six-foot bull alligator from that very spot because it was aggressive towards tubers. Yep, that was on his list of possible calamities! (but did you die???) He is now as big as that alligator (literally, 6 feet tall) and he has yet to forgive me for that. But he doesn’t hate me anymore.

Even after that, though, he still confides in me and shares his thoughts on life, politics, Dungeons and Dragons, botany, religion, dragons, school, anime, and now, girls. I really treasure these conversations because I know they will become few and far between as he gets older. I know that he will start talking to his friends more and me less. For now, I get to watch as he starts to realize that he finds girls fascinating. And hopefully I can impart a little wisdom about how to understand them, as I used to be a girl myself.

His first girlfriend was absolutely amazing. They could not have been more perfect for each other if I had created a blueprint. It was wonderful to watch him light up when she called. He came to me when he wanted to get her a special birthday present and to send her a care package when she went away for the summer. He talked about how smart and pretty and funny she was. Sometimes he would just sit and smile to himself. It was beautiful but they were twelve. They had a good run, six months of talking and laughing for hours at a time.

Then he broke up with her. He was terribly upset because it felt so horrible to hurt her. As much as I hated to see him hurt, it made me really happy that he felt so bad. Breaking hearts isn’t a pastime. People need to be handled with care.

Since then, he has learned a little bit more about attributes that he likes in a girl. We’ve talked about what girls like about guys. I’ve tried to make him a little more sensitive to feelings and emotions and the value of tacos in peacemaking. We’ve talked about what his first date might look like. I have stressed the importance of putting his best foot forward but still being himself, complete with bad jokes and anime references. We’ve also talked about what his marriage proposal might look like. I hope it changes a little before he actually proposes because I don’t know how we’re going to convince the Lego Joker’s henchmen to assist with that.

It’s important to me to make sure that he goes into the world with an open mind and an open heart. That means his heart will get broken occasionally. He will also break some hearts occasionally. I know this from experience, but I also know that he can’t learn everything from my experiences. Some things he will have to figure out for himself.

I’m sure every mama wants to shield their baby’s heart, but I think the best we can do is put good stuff in and fortify it so that when it does get broken, they have the strength and courage and confidence to put themselves out there again. Hopefully, we put in enough good stuff to last their whole life. I think when they are teenagers, they begin to give us tiny glimpses of the adults they will grow into one day. It’s looking pretty good for The Boy, so far.

I hope that he reaches his full potential but more than that, I hope that he is happy. I believe that he is well on his way to being a really great human being. And I believe that the world is so much better because he exists. I hope he continues to handle people with care. I’ve tried to instill in him kindness and compassion. I want him to be generous with his time and energy but not so generous that he sets himself on fire to keep other people warm. I hope that he keeps talking to me for a long, long time even after he stops telling me EVERYTHING. I hope the teenage girls take it easy on him. And I hope that when he realizes that maybe HIS princess is in another castle, he has the courage to break a heart gently and keep looking for her.

And I hope that one day he forgets about that dang alligator.

I think I’m sick of the word “manifesting”.

I subscribe to several inspirational writers, and I follow all the pages on Facebook with the inspirational quotes. I keep hearing about how to “manifest” everything I want out of life. And for the low, low price of just (enter a low, low price here) they can teach you how it’s done. I think most of us know how it’s done, though.

Most of us have made a wish and blown out candles on a birthday cake. Then, in our birthday excitement or sugar high from the cake, we start looking for how that wish might come true. If you look hard enough, you’ll find it. Then it’s up to you to grab it and claim it as your wish come true! Is that manifesting? Kinda? You still have to put in some work.

Unless you’re Ladybug, whose birthday wishes literally just land in her lap. At her sweet 16th birthday dinner, she blew out her candles and wished for a little gray striped cat. I said, “Not gonna happen. We have two cats already. PLUS, you told me so it can’t come true now.” We got home from dinner that night and started getting The Boy settled in for bed when we heard meowing coming from the garage. You will never ever guess what was meowing in my garage. A little gray striped cat. I’m not even kidding. The Boy instantly fell in love with it, asked the cat his name, the cat replied, “Yeow.” So, we were now the dismayed owners of a little gray cat named Yeow. But wait, it gets better (worse?).

The Boy loved Yeow. Ladybug, being the very good big sister that she is, says, “It’s okay. He can have Yeow. I wanted a gray cat with darker stripes anyway.” She really does love her little brother. It was such a sweet gesture that we had to allow it. At this point, we were Humans: 4, Cats: 3. Fine. Whatever. And then… Guess what shows up in my garage the next night. Yup, A little gray cat with darker stripes! Apparently, he came looking for his almost twin brother and found his way right into Ladybug’s arms, and heart, and my house and maybe my arms occasionally, reluctantly. I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to refuse a birthday cat. Humans: 4, Cats: 4.

If that’s not manifesting, I don’t know what is. I have gone over it in my head a hundred times to try and figure out how she pulled that off and I got nothing. I know our neighbors had (and periodically have) litters of kittens but they have never found their way to our house before that or since. Maybe she needs to be teaching people how to manifest for the low, low price of (insert low, low price here)! Everybody would probably just end up with cats, though.

I often think about that birthday cat when I make my birthday wishes. Or any wish for that matter. How will I get to do/see/experience the things I want? How will I make it come true?

I say “make” it come true because I’m not Ladybug. I know that it’s not enough to wish, hope, aspire, or have faith. Faith without works is dead. You have to find the path that leads to what you want and then you have to take it. YOU have to walk down that path and work in accord with your wish, hope, aspiration, and faith. It may be scary. It may be lonely. It may require you to step outside of your comfort zone. Hopefully, you have a great network of supportive friends and family but if you don’t, hit me up. I’ll support you! As long as its legal!

Well…hmmm…there may be some illegal things that I would also support so we’ll have to take it on a case-by-case basis.

I had a great birthday month, made several birthday wishes, and it’s kinda spilling over into this month, too. Maybe I can keep up this momentum all year. I want this year to be absolutely packed with love and joy! So far, I’ve had presents, travel to NYC, a Billy Joel concert, cake, lots of really good food, and time with the people I love most. Coming up this month, I have another concert (Bob Dylan with a sweet little HoneyBee) on the schedule and a show (Beetlejuice with The Boy at the Fabulous Fox Theatre), and April will be full of traveling with some of the people I love most. I am putting it out into the universe that these are the things I want but I’m not going to sit and wait for these things to land in my lap.

When I heard that our local radio station was giving away tickets to the Bob Dylan concert, I literally pointed at my radio with a look of determination and said (is it weird that I talk to my radio?), “I’m going to win those tickets.” The next morning, I was running a little behind schedule, so I thought I missed the giveaway. Wouldn’t you know it, the DJ was running a little behind schedule too. She played the movie clip, “You had me at hello.” I called and waited while it rang and rang. And rang and rang. She answered the phone. I answered the question. Bada-bing, bada-boom! Bob Dylan tickets manifested.

Okay, that’s kinda landing in my lap. But I had to listen to the radio, I had to make the call, I had to answer the question. Not just wish and wait.

So, I guess I do believe in manifesting. I think you do, too but maybe you don’t call it manifesting. Because manifesting schmanifesting, ain’t nobody got time for that voodoo. I do know from experience, however, that sometimes the universe just smacks you in the face with exactly what you need whether you want it or not. (Or drops a cat/friend/job in your lap right when you need it.) And I know that if you make your wishes and then look for ways to make them come true, you’ll probably find the way. Then you just have to DO it (that may be the hard part). I’ll be over here working on my own wishes and cheering you on with yours.

Just try to keep it legal.