Well, it has happened. It is happening as we speak.

The Boy has discovered girls.

I have always considered myself fortunate that The Boy discusses everything with me. And I do mean everything. Ever since he was tiny, he has considered me one of his best friends. Amazingly, that has not gotten in the way of all the parenting stuff like rules, and chores, and punishment. I have heard people say that if your kid doesn’t hate you then you’re parenting wrong. I don’t agree.

I think it really depends on the child. Ladybug hated me for about three years straight. The Boy has only hated me once or twice, briefly. Once when I acted like his cat (Lloyd) was in a box and I shook the box to make him disappear. Lloyd had actually slipped out of the box and under the bed when nobody was looking. I thought it would be funny but boy, was I wrong. I kinda hated myself after that little prank.

There was also the time that my whole family was going tubing, but The Boy was scared to get in the tube. He stood on the dock with tears in his big brown eyes and ran through his entire list of possible calamities while my family floated away. I told him it was okay to be afraid, but he would be missing out on a really great day if he stayed behind. Sometimes we just have to do it scared. I took his tiny hands in mine and said, “Do you trust me?” He smiled through his tears and said, “Yes, mama.”

And then before he knew what was happening, I yanked him into my tube, and we floated away. Hatred flashed in his eyes for a moment, but we ended up having a fantastic time!

When we returned home, we saw a news report of how they had to remove a six-foot bull alligator from that very spot because it was aggressive towards tubers. Yep, that was on his list of possible calamities! (but did you die???) He is now as big as that alligator (literally, 6 feet tall) and he has yet to forgive me for that. But he doesn’t hate me anymore.

Even after that, though, he still confides in me and shares his thoughts on life, politics, Dungeons and Dragons, botany, religion, dragons, school, anime, and now, girls. I really treasure these conversations because I know they will become few and far between as he gets older. I know that he will start talking to his friends more and me less. For now, I get to watch as he starts to realize that he finds girls fascinating. And hopefully I can impart a little wisdom about how to understand them, as I used to be a girl myself.

His first girlfriend was absolutely amazing. They could not have been more perfect for each other if I had created a blueprint. It was wonderful to watch him light up when she called. He came to me when he wanted to get her a special birthday present and to send her a care package when she went away for the summer. He talked about how smart and pretty and funny she was. Sometimes he would just sit and smile to himself. It was beautiful but they were twelve. They had a good run, six months of talking and laughing for hours at a time.

Then he broke up with her. He was terribly upset because it felt so horrible to hurt her. As much as I hated to see him hurt, it made me really happy that he felt so bad. Breaking hearts isn’t a pastime. People need to be handled with care.

Since then, he has learned a little bit more about attributes that he likes in a girl. We’ve talked about what girls like about guys. I’ve tried to make him a little more sensitive to feelings and emotions and the value of tacos in peacemaking. We’ve talked about what his first date might look like. I have stressed the importance of putting his best foot forward but still being himself, complete with bad jokes and anime references. We’ve also talked about what his marriage proposal might look like. I hope it changes a little before he actually proposes because I don’t know how we’re going to convince the Lego Joker’s henchmen to assist with that.

It’s important to me to make sure that he goes into the world with an open mind and an open heart. That means his heart will get broken occasionally. He will also break some hearts occasionally. I know this from experience, but I also know that he can’t learn everything from my experiences. Some things he will have to figure out for himself.

I’m sure every mama wants to shield their baby’s heart, but I think the best we can do is put good stuff in and fortify it so that when it does get broken, they have the strength and courage and confidence to put themselves out there again. Hopefully, we put in enough good stuff to last their whole life. I think when they are teenagers, they begin to give us tiny glimpses of the adults they will grow into one day. It’s looking pretty good for The Boy, so far.

I hope that he reaches his full potential but more than that, I hope that he is happy. I believe that he is well on his way to being a really great human being. And I believe that the world is so much better because he exists. I hope he continues to handle people with care. I’ve tried to instill in him kindness and compassion. I want him to be generous with his time and energy but not so generous that he sets himself on fire to keep other people warm. I hope that he keeps talking to me for a long, long time even after he stops telling me EVERYTHING. I hope the teenage girls take it easy on him. And I hope that when he realizes that maybe HIS princess is in another castle, he has the courage to break a heart gently and keep looking for her.

And I hope that one day he forgets about that dang alligator.